Introduction

     Love never counts - Love alone counts!
     A play on words, this? A paradoxical saying, at once true and false?  Suppose we ask Margretchen - half-blind, mentally retarded Margaretha Feichtler - how we are to understand this saying, which both directed and characterized the life of Pauline von Mallinckrodt.
     It was the year 1842. In Paderborn, Pauline von Mallinckrodt was just beginning to take care of, instruct, and formally train hitherto poor and neglected blind children. Among the first five was Margretchen, the daughter of a woman who sold vegetables at the market. In a letter to her cousin, Pauline described her: *

...the fifth child, one whom the teacher has until now found too stupid, will be the next one to be put into his class. This poor creature is eighteen years old, comes from Paderborn, and is considered feebleminded -extremely retarded. For days she would be put to bed and locked into a room while her mother went out to earn a livelihood. No one bothered about her, and if she went outside in good weather, the street urchins would laugh at her because of her dreadful awkwardness. And so her condition became worse and worse. She hasn't gone to confession yet, nor has she received Holy Communion. Dr. Schmidt didn't want to have anything to do with her and thought we should have accepted a normal girl in her place. Finally he gave in to my repeated petitions and now, after only two weeks, we can furnish evidence that the girl is not so retarded after all. She can already repeat little stories in high German and also draw correct conclusions. I'm so happy that we rescued the poor creature from a state of mere vegetation and are able to transform her into a human being. The doctor's wife is pretty well satisfied with her ability to knit.¹

     At first Margretchen went into violent tantrums; she would thrash her arms from side to side and ward off anyone who tried to get near her. And yet she had to be cared for like a little child. Hour after hour, day and night, Pauline personally devoted herself to Margretchen. She cleaned her up and taught her the simplest, most essential habits of daily personal hygiene: washing and dressing herself, eating properly. And so Pauline's unfailing patience and kindness accomplished what no one would have thought possible. Not only did Margretchen carry out these routine actions with eagerness; she also learned to associate with others, to tell a story , to spell, to knit. Pauline attempted even more: she spared no effort to prepare Margretchen for her first Holy Communion. People who knew the girl advised Pauline against it, for they thought it would be wasted effort; but Pauline would say: "Must a person be regarded as an imbecile just because she has never been taught or even been in contact with human kindness? This child too has a soul, and I trust that grace can work powerfully even in the soul of a retarded person."² And again Pauline succeeded in doing what even the pastor had deemed impossible: she awakened the girl's desire to receive her first Holy Communion. During the time of preparation, Margretchen would kneel in bed at night, praying again and again: "That I may get there!" And she really did "get there" : she received Jesus Christ under the form of bread.

     Among the blind, Margretchen always remained Pauline's favorite.  Even when the foundress, whom the bishop had appointed superior of her congregation, could no longer devote herself exclusively to the blind children, Margretchen always had free access to "her mother, who is so good."

     The depth of Margretchen's love for Mother Pauline manifested itself particularly during the short, fatal illness before Mother Pauline's death. During these days of alternating fear and hope, Margretchen was almost constantly praying her rosary .And when she learned that Mother Pauline had died, she was well-nigh inconsolable: "She whom we loved so much has left us; she who did so much good is no longer with us. And she was so gentle."³  Sunday after Sunday, for fifteen long years, she would visit Mother Pauline's grave to pray there and so be close to "her mother ." 

     Love never counts. . . Mother Pauline's unfailing patience and loving devotion brought light into a life that had been spent in the confines of darkness for eighteen years. Margretchen learned from experience that love never counts, keeps no record of its gifts; love simply exists for others. The love which Mother Pauline had lavished on Margretchen remained a living thing all her life .

     Love never counts - Love alone counts!
     Let us look more deeply into Mother Pauline's life in order to realize that our motif here is not a mere play on words, not just a paradoxical saying, but that it reduces to a common denominator the many facets of Pauline von Mallinckrodt's distinguishing trait: " ...an inexpressibly large heart with nothing but love in it."⁴