Pauline's Life as Foundress and Superior of the Young Congregation

First Sphere of Activity

After the founding of the congregation, Mother Pauline held the
offices of superior, novice directress, and directress of the blind asylum; she was the soul of the entire undertaking. The other three Sisters continued their former duties: Sister Maria as teacher of the blind children; Sister Mathilde as supervisor of more than a hundred poor children in the day nursery; Sister Elisabeth as nurse and homemaker in the small motherhouse. Mother Pauline devoted whatever time she could spare to the blind. About this period Sister Maria wrote:
Despite all her cares and duties, she spent as much time as she could as often as she could in the circle of her beloved blind. Before the new motherhouse was built - that is, until 1855 - she took all meals with them, gave them singing lessons, often took them out for walks. ...Our Reverend Mother's love for the blind was concerned not only with their physical and mental needs; during the various seasons and on special feasts of the year, she devised many ways of giving them pleasure and brightening their lives. On Sundays she would think of some different diversion for them -now this, now that. For hours she would read an interesting book for them or talk with them or take them out for a walk; a basket full of sandwiches or fruit or both would always go along. Every summer she would take the blind children to a country house in the vicinity; here they could enjoy themselves to their hearts' content; usually they would come home singing. For the feast of St. Nicholas and for Christmas and Easter Mother Pauline arranged some special pleasure for the blind children. ²⁹

Soon new fields of activity were added. On December 31, 1850, Sister Mathilde traveled to Dortmund to take charge of the teaching at the elementary school for girls there. The following year, since the number of Sisters had increased, the congregation took charge of an orphanage in Steele. As time went on, more schools were accepted. Now Mother Pauline had scarcely any time left for the blind. Again and again she visited the Sisters in their sphere of activity and helped as much as she
could. So we read, for example, about her personal way of functioning in the orphanage at Steele:
At the time we took over the orphanage at Steele, our total membership was only nine Sisters. Love for the orphaned children, however, made it possible for our dear Reverend Mother to assign five Sisters to this mission. But since all of us were still novices, we had the great joy of having Reverend Mother with us for a quarter of a year. She showed us in action what it means to take the place of a mother for the poor orphans. From early morning until late at night she was wholly occupied with the children: she bathed them, kept them clean, performed the most menial services for them. In a very special way she devoted herself to the sick children. About twenty of our little ones had a rash all over their heads down to the forehead. Reverend Mother insisted on personally washing their heads every day in order to get rid of the lice. Actually, she took upon herself all the household chores: she swept the floors, scrubbed, ironed. It was touching to see how concerned she was to make the particular work of each Sister easier. And when evening came, we were delighted to gather around Reverend Mother without being disturbed . I shall never forget those delightful recreations; she always seemed cheerful and in good spirits. If the Sisters had told her about their experience of the day and the difficulties they had encountered, she would lovingly draw all of them into the conversation, so that they would go back to their daily tasks with new courage and vigor. Everything about Reverend Mother breathed forth love, goodness, and kindness; and so that this love of neighbor might be ever more deeply impressed on our hearts, she would give us a meditation every Saturday on love of neighbor, especially in connection with our duties toward the children .³⁰

Joy reigned wherever she went. She was interested in everyone- the Sisters, the children, the poor, the sick; she listened to everyone, encouraged, advised, and comforted everyone. When necessary , she would correct a Sister, but even then everyone knew that she was acting out of love. The poor always remained her special concern. The chronicles have much to report about this aspect of her life. Let us quote a few examples:
Reverend Mother had made it a regulation at the motherhouse in Paderborn that no poor person should ever be sent away without an alms of some kind. If we were unable to give him what he asked for, she said, he must be given something else, even if it were only a piece of bread. On their part, poor people knew from experience that in their concerns they would always receive a favorable hearing with Reverend Mother, and therefore very many needy persons with the most diverse requests appeared at the convent gate. For several years a number of sick and old people received their noon meal from the convent. Besides, thirty or forty poor people were served at the entrance every day, and our Reverend Mother was very much concerned that her beloved poor would always receive a good meal, that they be served courteously, and that in winter they would be taken care of in a warm room. In her goodness she reminded us again and again that we must see our Lord in the poor. She would always greet them with a reverent bow. A beggar, who spent the night in a shepherd's hut, was delighted whenever he met Mother Pauline coming down the road and he received her greeting. He thought there was no lady like her anywhere, a lady who gave a poor beggar such a friendly greeting.³¹

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It was the year 1854, and I was portress at the blind asylum. That year the people suffered extreme poverty, for the winter was severe and cold. Reverend Mother told me to give three pfennigs to every poor person who came to the door. I did this, although the Sister in charge of the money told me
that Reverend Mother had almost no cash on hand. Every day we distributed about two talers in alms at the entrance. Then, when I had no more money and went to Reverend Mother to get some, she would say: "Isn't it good, dear Sister, that we can share something with poor people!" One evening I went to her room and again asked for money for alms. Reverend Mother went to her desk, opened every drawer and little box, and gave me two silver groschen and eight pfennigs. Sighing deeply, she said: "Sister, this is all I have. " It is easy to imagine how I felt. I went to the chapel and cried. A few hours later Reverend Mother sent for me and said: "You see, Sister, we must have confidence; God has helped us. Good Sister Josepha from Steele has sent us sixty talers and six woolen blankets. Tomorrow we can begin again to help many poor people in their need. ³²

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In 1870 I was a postulant and was assigned to help the portress. One day Reverend Mother, who had been out on an errand, brought in a poor man whom she had found sitting at the convent gate. She told me to go to the kitchen to see if I could still find a cup of coffee, for some of the Sisters were in the chapel praying Office, and the rest were taking care of some other work. I brought the coffee she had asked for, but without milk, for I had been unable to find a drop. "But, dear child, you didn't put any milk into it, " Reverend Mother declared reproachfully; "the man can't drink black coffee!" I replied that I had not been able to find any milk. "Besides, " I added rather pertly, for I had noticed that the man was drunk, "the black coffee will be good for him; it will sober him up. " "Dear Sister, " she replied very seriously, "how can you say such a thing! Who knows why he is intoxicated? Perhaps he didn't have anything to eat all day and then bought some brandy to warm up a bit, and he couldn't stand the brandy on an empty stomach. Be careful about making a rash judgment. Now go and call one of the Sisters so that the man will jet something decent to eat. " Thoroughly ashamed of myself, I went off.³³

Mother Pauline drew the strength for her untiring service from
prayer. The Sisters tell us that she would kneel in the chapel for hours, so that they would get tired just from seeing her on her knees so long. She knew that she needed God's help. "What water is to the fish, that prayer is for us." ³⁴ Mother Pauline's life manifested that, far from being mutually exclusive, cheerfulness and love of God really belong together, and that a great deal of work is not synonymous with less prayer. Wherever she was, she radiated the joy that she drew from nearness to God. Even the greatest anxieties and reverses could not deprive her of this joy in God.

The Storm of the Kulturkampf

In 1871, under the regime of Chancellor Otto von Bismarck, the Kulturkampf began. A number of laws were passed that aimed directly at , religious orders. The most disastrous blow was that religious were no longer permitted to teach in schools. At once Mother Pauline did her utmost to avert this disaster. She undertook a number of journeys and approached persons of influence. Everywhere she was received in a friendly and courteous manner. "This lady is worthy of wearing a crown," the heir to the throne of one of the leading German states declared after meeting her.³⁵ Yet no one could help her . 

Meanwhile, the congregation had attained a membership of 245 Sisters, who were engaged in twenty different spheres of activity.  Mother Pauline had to accept the fact that one school after another was being closed and the Sisters were being dismissed from their field of activity. They returned to Paderborn. Mother Pauline received each one with great love, nor did she let anyone feel the care that weighed heavily upon her.  Where was she to find new activities for her Sisters? She placed everything into the hands of God. Her reliance on His help was unshakable. In a letter she declared:
A look into the future might well fill a person with fear and dread if he did not know that there is still a God and that He will direct everything for the best.³⁶

And in another letter she said:
May God give us genuine trust in His divine Providence and help us through these adversities. When human prospects seem utterly blocked, He still always has His ways and means; we simply may not lose heart.³⁷

New Fields of Activity in the Americas

And then a new way opened up. Mother Pauline wrote:
While we were losing one field of activity after another in Europe, God was ordaining that the cry for Sisters in America became ever more urgent .³⁸

As early as April 1873 she sent the first Sisters to North America to take charge of a school in New Orleans. Soon more Sisters followed. From June to August 1873, Mother Pauline herself traveled to North America to become acquainted with circumstances there and to investigate possibilities for new fields of labor for her Sisters. As time went on, she frequently sent more Sisters to America, where flourishing missions came into being. She herself accompanied each group of departing Sisters to the port from which their ship was to sail for the New World. Saying farewell to their home, especially to Mother Pauline, was not easy. But Mother Pauline's cheerfulness and love gave the Sisters courage and strength to overcome the pain of parting. Each one left in the confident joy of being permitted to work for the spread of God's kingdom. 

From 1874 on, Mother Pauline also sent several groups of Sisters to Chile to take charge of schools there. According to God's law, the ruin brought about by human laws in their native country meant new life and a new beginning overseas. Even today the Sisters are carrying on their apostolate in schools, hospitals, and other institutions in North and South America.

Journey to the Americas

By means of letters Mother Pauline kept in close contact with all the Sisters. But this was not enough for her. Although her health had suffered considerably from the cares and burdens of the last years, she felt that she must visit all the Sisters in North and South America. She had a premonition that she would not live much longer. And so she was concerned about encouraging every Sister in her vocation and in her particular aspect of the apostolate by a personal encounter. On October 1, 1879, she set sail with three companions, two of whom were to remain in Chile. Although she knew that the five-week voyage to Chile would be particularly difficult at this season of the year, we learn practically nothing about the hardships and privations of this journey from her own writings. One of her companions, however, kept a diary and recorded the hardships and privations that Mother Pauline in particular endured during the trip:
On Saturday morning, October 11, 1879, the sea was very quiet -no longer blue, but greenish. When the sea was quiet, we had the good fortune to have Mass every morning. The weather was fresh, even though we had entered the torrid zone at about six 0' dock that morning. In the afternoon, it grew dark, with a rather heavy rain; toward four 0' dock a storm arose that continued through the night. Things slid and flew into each other; probably no one slept. Above our cabins there was such a rumbling that it seemed as if the whole deck was ready to collapse. Reverend Mother suffered much; there she lay on a sofa about a foot-and-a-half wide; she could no longer hold on by herself, and she felt deathly sick. The following morning the sea was too rough for us to have Mass. At six 0' dock, after a sleepless night and despite her extreme nausea, Mother Pauline dragged herself on deck. There she sat in her usual place amidships, looking the picture of death, too miserable and tired to open her eyes. All night long she had suffered from dreadful thirst; at ten o'clock she had taken a little piece of ice, but nothing more after that, so that she would be able to receive Holy Communion the next morning . Indeed, very early every morning she would drag herself on deck, partly so that she would never miss Holy Communion and Mass; partly, too, because she always felt worse below deck than she did in the good fresh air. Then Reverend Mother stayed on deck until evening. She ate practically nothing . Although she suffered unintermittently from thirst, we never heard her complain. She was always friendly and gracious to everyone, her heart filled with sympathetic love for all, modest and self-forgetful, never demanding - all of this combined with her dignified, noble bearing, soon won reverence and esteem for her from everyone on the ship. Two days after that restless night, the sea was calm again and had regained its beautiful blue color; we also had a chance to see flying fish. ...The next day the captain told us that we've had already run into the trade-wind belt; usually they came later, after crossing the equator. He said we could be glad that they were already blowing because they were very cool and therefore the heat was much more bearable. ...The cool temperature kept on the day after we had crossed the equator, but the movement of the billows was very strong, so that the ship pitched back and forth and vice versa, usually with unpleasant consequences for people who were seasick.

The love for the poor which Mother Pauline had practiced on a large scale in Paderborn and recently in Mont St. Guibert, she now practiced as well as she could, at least on a small scale. Second- and third-class passengers were not allowed to come to the first-class deck. Reverend Mother, who stayed on deck all day, had struck up a friendship with a little barefoot ragamuffin, the child of Portuguese emigrants, who had come up from steerage and was walking on the first-class deck while the first-class passengers were at dinner. It was touching to see how Reverend Mother always managed to save something for her little protege from the meager tray that was brought up for her. ³⁹

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November 3, 1879
Reverend Mother remained on deck as long as possible; she was looking forward to the following day, the anniversary of her first profession. But about four o'clock the weather became too rough, and we went down to our cabin. We could tell that the crew expected a bad night. On deck everything was tied or fastened down, and all windows were screwed shut. The ship swayed not only from side to side but also from bow to stern and back again; it was really terrible. At about eleven 0' clock poor Reverend Mother fell out of bed against a table and hurt her left side so badly that she continued to feel the effects for a whole year. She did get up the following morning, but it was impossible for her to reach the deck; she even had to have help to stay on the little sofa. There was no thought of Holy Mass that day or the next.'40

Today we can hardly imagine what awaited Mother Pauline after this strenuous voyage. Despite the poor means of transportation and the long distances in Chile, Mother Pauline visited every single mission. One Sister recorded her joy in the chronicles:
So what no Sister here would have thought possible is really true: that we, here at the end of the world, at the tip of South America, the last point where religious are living, should have the good fortune to see our dear Reverend Mother .But love urged her on, and love overcomes all things. 

The Sisters of every house tried to keep Mother Pauline in their midst as long as possible. On February 19, 1880, she bade a final farewell to Chile, deeply grateful to God for having permitted her to see every Sister once more:
God bless each and every Sister! God bless you, Chile, beautiful country, and bless the great missionary work of my dear Sisters! ⁴²

These were her last words as the ship moved away from shore and she looked gratefully toward the Sisters who had accompanied her to the harbor .

The trip from Chile to North America was beset with even greater difficulties. A heavy sea, the bellowing of oxen on board as the violent swaying of the ship threw them back and forth, the noise of the ship's crane close to her cabin, and in addition a tiny cabin with little air, tropical heat, and icy cold -all these circumstances allowed her scarcely any rest.  Besides, she suffered from seasickness almost constantly, and most of the time she could take nothing but a little tea early in the morning. Over and above these discomforts, the ship had to traverse the war zone for ten days.

In spite of her pains, which she suffered almost without respite, so that she herself thought she would hardly survive the voyage, her heart was still open to the needs and miseries of others. We read, for example:
On one of these days a third-class passenger had committed a theft on the steamer; he was immediately arrested and fastened to the windlass. The sight of the man was a real suffering for our Reverend Mother. First her companion had to ask the sailor on guard whether the thief's hands were fastened too tightly. When evening came, Reverend Mother offered a handkerchief to be shoved between his wrists and the rope; then she had two glasses of sugar water brought for the man. She felt the deepest sympathy for him; the poor fellow had been standing in the hot sun all afternoon, and this  in the torrid zone.⁴³

Reverend Mother rallied a little when they covered a short distance by train. But then the journey continued by ship. The gorgeous sunsets which the travelers now witnessed were misleading. According to the crew, they were signs of cold, stormy weather. Only too soon this prediction came true. In the account of the journey we read:
At about two o'clock Tuesday morning, a dreadful storm arose; it became worse from hour to hour and abated only after two days. The storm we had experienced at Cape Pillar was nothing compared to this one. The waves rose
mountain-high from trough to crest, whipped so furiously that they struck the great smokestack and put out the fire in the ship's galley. The howling and din were so deafening that a person could hardly hear his own words. Our Reverend Mother suffered much during this horrible storm; it hailed land snowed even though we had been in the tropical jungle a few days earlier. The first night, when the storm began, Reverend Mother got up and began to prepare aloud for death; the second night was, if possible, even worse. On Wednesday evening It began to calm down, and by Thursday, morning anyone who was pretty steady on his feet could take a little walk on, deck. Our great smokestack was covered with a white crust of salt, evidence of the severe battering it had taken from the furious elements.⁴⁴

On March 26, 1880, Good Friday that year, Mother Pauline and her companion reached New York. On Holy Saturday she arrived at the first mission of the Sisters. The joy on both sides was indescribable. Despite her exhaustion after the dangerous five-week trip, Mother Pauline attended the Resurrection procession that evening and Mass on Easter morning. A Sister who was deeply impressed by this wrote:
Mother Pauline was wrapped in profound devotion; we, on the contrary, could hardly understand how she was able to kneel and pray so long after such a great strain.⁴⁵

As in Chile, so in North America, all the Sisters were delighted to have Mother Pauline in their midst for at least a few days. There were twenty-six houses to be visited. Everywhere she manifested the same friendliness, the same warm heart. She won the hearts of the school children with trifles of some kind, but their greatest joy was the fact that they had seen Mother Pauline. In one mission she had the Sisters go to the evening devotion in church while she herself took over the supervision of the children. When the Sisters returned, the children, in high glee, were standing on the benches. Mother Pauline immediately forestalled a reproof from the Sisters: "Don't scold the children; it's my fault." ⁴⁶

In some places the people received Mother Pauline with solemnity: church bells rang, flags were waving, and children lined the street on both sides. In her unassuming way she walked down between the lines and into the church to thank God for everything. -In every house, too, -just as in Chile -it was hard to say good-bye; every Sister knew that she would not see Mother Pauline again on this earth. 

On August 21, exactly 31 years after the founding of the Congregation, she bade farewell to North America. Thirteen days later she landed in Bremerhaven, and from there she returned to the motherhouse. There the Sisters rejoiced to have Mother Pauline with them again after so long a time. She herself, however, still wanted to visit all the Sisters in the European foundations, and so she soon set out on her travels again, returning only at the end of December .

Approaching Fulfillment

Very soon exhaustion and weakness set in, but with her usual energy and cheerfulness Mother Pauline succeeded in concealing her condition. In March 1881 she lost her only living brother. "Of the four of us brothers and sisters," she remarked, "I, the eldest, am the only one left. How soon the hour of my death may be here!" ⁴⁷

She still performed all her duties personally. Her favorite hours remained those with the blind children. Two days before she became seriously ill, she was still with them. It was the First Communion day of several of the blind children. One Sister recorded the events of the day:
On Low Sunday Mother Pauline, in accordance with her old, cherished custom, paid a visit to the blind children to congratulate the first communicants and to give them a fitting remembrance. After the services in the chapel and the congratulations, the blind children sang Mother Pauline's favorite songs. She was so loving, so friendly, but there was an unusual wistfulness on her face. Her departure from the blind children was earnest and solemn. Alas, it was the last time our dear Reverend Mother was with us in the blind asylum .⁴⁸

The following day she gave the Sisters of the motherhouse her last spiritual conference. To the Sisters her words were a last will and testament: they set forth the ideals she herself had lived, ideals that should live m in every Sister. That same day Mother Pauline began to shiver with chill and fever.  Nevertheless, she got up the next day to assist a dying sister; she also received the Sisters who came to visit her.  

Soon, however, so great a weakness set in that she had to remain in bed. Through a small window in her room she could at least follow Holy Mass in the chapel. Although the fever kept on rising and her weakness increased, she dictated one more letter to all the Sisters, bidding farewell to each one and again reverting to her favorite theme: love of God and of neighbor. Visibly her strength waned. She prayed with the Sisters who were with her and remarked how happy she was that God would soon be calling her home. Since the death of her mother, she had always looked forward to this last hour.  
How transient and changeable everything in this world is! Our heavenly home, with God, is our goal.⁴⁹

On April 30, 1881, Mother Pauline reached that goal. She was not quite sixty-four years old.

Epilogue

Love alone counts.

"She whom we loved so much has left us; she who did so much good is no longer with us." In these words Margaretha Feichtler voiced her grief at the death of "her mother," whose goodness had helped her to really love. Everyone who knew Mother Pauline grieved with her, especially the blind, the poor, and the socially disadvantaged.

In Mother Pauline they had found understanding and security; they knew they were respected and accepted by her. She regarded it as self-evident that she should devote herself to others regardless of personal considerations, treat everyone in keeping with circumstances, and give everyone what he needed at the moment. Her way of acting was always dictated by regard for the dignity of the human person and by a fundamental trust in the good in others.

What was the source of Mother Pauline's competence and self-
assurance in dealing with people? Christ was the center of her life -- Christ, "the kindness and love of God" (Titus 3, 4) made visible. In Him she found that love that does not count, that does not calculatingly repay like with like, but gives itself away out of pure mercy .And she wanted every Sister of her congregation
to feel obligated to this love. All the Sisters were to pattern their lives on love of God and love of neighbor, and to measure the worth of their actions by the yardstick of love alone, for- Love alone counts.

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Love never counts -Love alone counts!
Is this saying to remain a mere play on words, or will it become a guiding principle, an invitation, a challenge?