Pauline's Life Before the Founding of the Congregation

Pauline in Her Family Circle

     Pauline von Mallinckrodt was born in Minden, Germany, on June 3, 1817. She was followed by three other children: her brothers Georg and Hermann, and her sister Bertha. In 1824, her father, at the time the senior administrative official of the government, was transferred to Aix-la-Chapelle as vice-president of the district. Here Pauline spent her childhood and youth. Very soon the character traits that were to distinguish her more and more began to appear: cheerfulness and ingenuity , responsiveness to all that is beautiful, tender sympathy for every suffering creature, a resolute, enterprising spirit. In later years she often talked about the merry games of war she played with her brothers, how she frequently vanquished the "enemy," and even captured the flag from her brothers' stronghold. She was an enthusiastic horsewoman. When she made her debut in Aix-la-Chapelle at the age of sixteen, she enjoyed entertainment and dancing. She loved to attend the theater with her mother. One very special pleasure of hers was the annual holiday at her grandmother's estate in Borchen near Paderborn. Pauline described it as follows: 

The trips we used to make to our maternal grandmother in the spring or fall had a truly beneficial effect on me. This wise, venerable old lady lived on her estate at Borchen near Paderborn, and there her children and grandchildren often gathered around her .I was very responsive to the pleasures of happy rural life. The walks in the woods, through fields and meadows, the gathering of plums, the potato-roasts in the autumn, the harvest festival, the departure of the hunters for the chase and their return in the evening - all these rural pleasures, which I quietly relished, gave me much joy. And what imperceptibly proved most advantageous for me in all this was the association with so many virtuous, genuinely pious, and at the same time very loving persons, such as I frequently found among my relatives.5 

     Even today her letters to her grandmother bear eloquent testimony to the love she showed her in childlike simplicity and reverence: 
Sunday, November 22,1834
Dear Grandmother ,
Right now I should like to travel to Borchen by train, sit down to Sunday dinner with the family, have a hearty laugh, and enjoy your delicious meal to the full- why, I could eat the whole roast rabbit myself.
6

     In another letter we read:
Aix-la-Chapelle, June 14, 1835
Dear Grandmother ,
How much I envy Father in being able to stay with you in Borchen so long! I only hope that the prolongation of his trip will not deprive us of the joy of seeing you this fall. I would like to beg you, dear Grandmother, to please put in a good word for us with Father. True, it is hardly becoming for someone who has just come back from Paris and now has the joy of being with Bertha to be thinking about another trip. But human nature is weak. Even in fortune's lap we find it hard to renounce pleasure, and so you will have to excuse me too.

I was happy to learn from Father's letter that you are well, but I wasn't really surprised, for I am used to hearing from those who see you at brief intervals that you always remain the same; so I would be astonished to hear otherwise. That is a good sign, dear Grandmother, a sign that we shall have the happiness of having you with us for a long time to come.7

     Frau von Mallinckrodt devoted a great deal of time to the training of her children. She was particularly proud of Pauline, her eldest. On one occasion she declared:
So far as her way of thinking and her temperament are concerned, nothing purer or nobler can be wished for. Without letting her know it, both of us gratefully recognize the treasure heaven has given us in her .
8

     On another occasion she wrote to her mother in Borchen:
Pauline is big and healthy; her behavior, too, is excellent in every respect,
and so far as her temperament and character are concerned, there is nothing
more to be desired. I have reason to be proud of her .My deepest gratitude to
God for this.
9

     Frau von Mallinckrodt's sincerity, goodness, and constant friendliness as well as her deep faith were imprinted on all her children; in a special way, however, we find these character traits in Pauline.

     The mother, herself devoted to the care of the poor and the sick, did not surmise that Pauline was imbibing this same love of selfless service at a very early age. One little incident, related to a Sister years later by a schoolmate of young Pauline, will clarify this statement.

     Pauline had not been attending school very long. Every morning she looked forward to her classes and to all the interesting new things she would be learning. And so the teacher could not understand why Pauline was tardy so often. Since the child, otherwise so candid, never gave the reason, the teacher herself investigated and found all kinds of pieces of glass in her schoolbag. In answer to her astonished, inquiring glance, seven-year-old Pauline explained: "I found them on the street. I didn't want poor children who have no shoes to hurt themselves." 10

     One of Frau von Mallinckrodt's greatest concerns was to bring up her children in the Catholic faith. Out of deference to the father's Protestant affiliation, she accomplished this with tactful reserve. Pauline was very responsive to matters of faith and manifested a deep love for prayer at an early age.

     One Good Friday Pauline wanted to make the Way of the Cross, with which the pupils were familiar, in the garden of St. Leonard School. But her mother wanted her to stay at home on this special holy day of her Protestant father. Pauline complied, but devised a new plan, for she knew the pictures of the stations at St. Leonard's by heart. After looking for Pauline for some time, her mother found her climbing the attic stairs on her knees. Her mother looked at her questioningly. "I'm praying the
stations," her ten-year-old daughter whispered. The mother was taken aback. She had a presentiment that God would play an important role in Pauline's life.
11

Encounter with Luise Hensel

     The religious training Pauline had received from her mother was decisively deepened by her contact with Luise Hensel. Although Luise taught Pauline only a few years, the two remained on intimate terms all her life. In a letter to Luise, twenty-three year old Pauline reveals how much she owes to her teacher of long ago:
I owe you an immense debt of gratitude. You laid the foundation of my contentment, of my happiness; for peace, rest, and joy are to be found in God alone. And it was you who led me to this fountainhead of all temporal and eternal salvation. You would deserve heaven on my account alone.
12

     Pauline loved her teacher. Some time before this, she had told her:
Do you remember how we used to go up the stairs with you after class at St . Leonard's and how we would pluck your sleeve or at least ask to carry your books? At the door of your room most of the girls would say good-bye, but a few of us -for instance, Pauline von Mallinckrodt - would go into your cell, and then the questions would begin. When I pass your room now, I feel a bit homesick. If only I could still talk to you once in a while! Now I would get much more out of it than I did then. - But this much is certain: if we should not see each other again in this world and should meet later on in heaven, then you will see that I owe many a jewel in my crown to you.
13

     Pauline's wealth of ideas and her open-mindedness as well as her joy in things religious are very definitely expressed in her compositions. Pauline chose to write most of them in letter or dialogue form. Here is just one example:
Dear Clara,
You cannot imagine how happy I was to receive your letter, especially since I had not heard from you for two months, and I didn't even know how you were getting along .  You tell me that you are often impatient, and you ask me for a means of overcoming this ugly fault. It may comfort you to know that I, too, suffered much from this fault, but the grace of God helped me, and also this story; it isn't a long one, but it has a lot of meaning.  I heard it from an old monk, and the title is:

Truttberg the Hermit

This is how it goes:
In a certain monastery a man named Truttberg lived under the authority of a pious abbot. Truttberg was constantly at odds with his fellow monks, and he would often complain about them to the abbot, even when they were innocent. Once when he had again quarreled with them, he went to the abbot and asked for permission to leave the monastery and go to live alone in the woods. The abbot gave him permission, blessed him, and added: "If you can't quarrel with your brothers, you'll do so with the stones. " Truttberg went away and found a cave, where he lived happily for several days. One day he went to get water a little earlier than usual, but he set the jug down carelessly and it fell over. He felt like getting impatient, cursing, finding fault with the jug, kicking it, and so on, but he controlled himself and got more water; the same thing happened. Again he went to get water , but when he had climbed the hill he was tired and wanted to rest; so he set the jug on a rock, but did it so violently that the jug broke into many pieces. Truttberg could contain himself no longer. He cursed, kicked the jug - in a word, he was beside himself with rage. Soon, however, he returned to his senses, repented of his fault, and from that time on he led a better life.  I think this story can be very helpful to you. Remember me to your parents and your brothers and sisters, please. - Now I would still like to go to church for a while and so I'll close. I do hope you 'llget over your impatience, and I remain
Your faithful friend,
Pauline
May 23, 1829 

The style of this composition is good.
If only I could praise the penmanship!!
Luise Hensel
14

     Luise Hensel used such compositions to form and stabilize Pauline's  character. Her comments reveal fine insight into human nature as well as pedagogical skill:

Your choice and handling of the theme are good. Too bad your poor handwriting has made it impossible for me to correct your composition.
Satisfactory; but. ..if only Pauline could finally learn penmanship! 
Satisfied with your effort, though your work is not altogether successful. Just keep on trying .
The idea of your composition is rather good; if only your spelling and penmanship were better!  You really are crazy about letter-writing!
15

     And crazy about letter-writing she remained: about 3,540 of her letters are still in existence today. Pauline considered letter-writing one of the most effective means of making others happy, giving them advice, consoling them, or simply telling them about her experiences so that others might share them. At the same time, she was not concerned about a well-written letter, but rather about its sincerity and the love she wished to show to others. Nor did she look at the handwriting of others:
So far as I am concerned, you need never excuse your penmanship or feel
embarrassed about it. I look only at the heart that is speaking through the
letter, at nothing else. And so I don't organize my thoughts either when I
write to you.
16

     Luise Hensel's influence on Pauline was a lasting one. Pauline's early maturity , which manifested itself in her clear thinking and judgment, her resolute will, her cheerfulness and serenity , her kindliness and profound union with God, drew many people to her when they came in contact with her in her youth. If we contemplate her portrait as a young girl (the only one that has been preserved from that period) we find that it confirms what many people felt after their first meeting with her, and what Professor Schluter's sister described to her blind brother:
Her face cannot really be called beautiful, but it creates a highly favorable
impression. Her eyes express friendliness, cheerfulness, a childlike spirit, as
well as boundless good will.
17

      In Pauline, friendliness and gravity blended with each other and characterized her very being more and more. People used to say, "You would recognize her immediately in a large group even if you had never seen her before." She would gladly join in any kind of fun, but if someone's reputation were at stake, she would do her utmost to protect that person. "Pauline is no killjoy ," one of her classmates said when the whole class took a stand against a certain teacher, and Pauline would not join them. "C'est la Mallinckrodt!" - "That's the Mallinckrodt girl! That's the way she is," the directress of the school declared.18

Death of Her Mother

     When Pauline was seventeen, her mother became seriously ill. She herself realized that she would die soon; the family, however, tried everything to preserve the mother's life. The doctor recommended treatment at some mineral baths, and Pauline accompanied her mother to Bad Schwalbach, a newly discovered spa, where conditions were still poor and in no way met the requirements of a health resort, especially not for a seriously ill person. With anxious care Pauline kept watch at her mother's side day and night, nursing her tenderly. Her mother, however, used the time that still remained to her for delegating to Pauline the responsibilities of homemaker and mother:
Keep God before your eyes! Always be united with each other! You will always live on in my love. Take good care of your brothers and sister and of your father. Always try to make him happy!
19

     Pauline fought against her tears, but her mother's courage and fortitude strengthened her too. Fully conscious, her mother said her yes to the will of God, and Pauline realized that what was happening here was no separation, no parting; in God her mother would always remain close to them. It was Pauline's first direct experience of death; after that, death had lost all its terrors for her. "The loss of my mother," Pauline wrote after the death of her mother, "awakened in me an intense desire for heaven, whither she had gone. 20 Pauline was to cherish that desire until her own death.

Serving the Poor and the Sick in Aix-la-Chapelle

     From this time on Pauline, despite her youth, held the position of mother in the family. She presided in the district president's residence, with its manifold domestic and social obligations. Above all, she endeavored to comply with her dying mother's wish by devoting herself lovingly to her two teenage brothers and her eight-year-old sister and by providing them with good training. She tried to fulfill her father's every wish, was his devoted companion on his trips and walks, and accompanied him to social functions. Though she sometimes felt overtaxed, she was always intent on fulfilling the desires of those around her. In her selflessness, her heart had room for others. In spite of all the demands made on her, she still found time to help poor and sick persons. With her friend Anna von Lommessen and several young women from well-to-do families, she called on needy people and supported them with the means at her disposal. In the household account book her father often found records of rather large expenditures for the poor. Even as a thirteen year old girl Pauline would give her allowance to poor and sick people. So, for example, she once gave a monthly account of what she had done with her money:
Gave 1 taler to church, 2 talers to a poor child that had no dress, 3 talers to a
sick widow who had nothing to eat!
21

     Pauline's personal expenditures were always limited to a few pfennigs hardly worth mentioning. And when her father would urge her to get something for herself, her only answer was, "But I have everything!"  The people of Aix-la-Chapelle were amazed to see young girls of wealthy families dedicating themselves so zealously to the service of the poor and the sick. "Those young women are crazy," they commented. Very soon, however, when they saw the results of such unselfish service, they changed their tune. Now they were only "the holy young ladies."

     Pauline's father placed no hindrance in the way of her charitable work; he was concerned, however, about her constantly diminishing pleasure in social functions, and he hoped to reawaken her taste for society by means of an extended trip through Belgium and France. Pauline did indeed drink in all the pleasures of such a trip, but at the same time she made use of it to gain an insight into organizations for the poor and the
handicapped. Her desire to help the underprivileged became stronger
9
20 Ibid., 15 f. (Cf. ibid., 11.) ':~
21 The taler was a large coin issued by various Gennan states from the fifteenth to the nineteenth century .
In 1873 the old Gennan taler became legal tender with a value of3marks-71.4cents in those days. What
its precise value was in MotherPauline's day cannot be detennined. (Cf. CW, XX:23.)