Pauline's Life Before the Founding of the Congregation

Pauline in Her Family Circle

     Pauline von Mallinckrodt was born in Minden, Germany, on June 3, 1817. She was followed by three other children: her brothers Georg and Hermann, and her sister Bertha. In 1824, her father, at the time the senior administrative official of the government, was transferred to Aix-la-Chapelle as vice-president of the district. Here Pauline spent her childhood and youth. Very soon the character traits that were to distinguish her more and more began to appear: cheerfulness and ingenuity , responsiveness to all that is beautiful, tender sympathy for every suffering creature, a resolute, enterprising spirit. In later years she often talked about the merry games of war she played with her brothers, how she frequently vanquished the "enemy," and even captured the flag from her brothers' stronghold. She was an enthusiastic horsewoman. When she made her debut in Aix-la-Chapelle at the age of sixteen, she enjoyed entertainment and dancing. She loved to attend the theater with her mother. One very special pleasure of hers was the annual holiday at her grandmother's estate in Borchen near Paderborn. Pauline described it as follows: 

The trips we used to make to our maternal grandmother in the spring or fall had a truly beneficial effect on me. This wise, venerable old lady lived on her estate at Borchen near Paderborn, and there her children and grandchildren often gathered around her .I was very responsive to the pleasures of happy rural life. The walks in the woods, through fields and meadows, the gathering of plums, the potato-roasts in the autumn, the harvest festival, the departure of the hunters for the chase and their return in the evening - all these rural pleasures, which I quietly relished, gave me much joy. And what imperceptibly proved most advantageous for me in all this was the association with so many virtuous, genuinely pious, and at the same time very loving persons, such as I frequently found among my relatives.5 

     Even today her letters to her grandmother bear eloquent testimony to the love she showed her in childlike simplicity and reverence: 
Sunday, November 22,1834
Dear Grandmother ,
Right now I should like to travel to Borchen by train, sit down to Sunday dinner with the family, have a hearty laugh, and enjoy your delicious meal
to the full- why, I could eat the whole roast rabbit myself.6

     In another letter we read:
Aix-la-Chapelle, June 14, 1835
Dear Grandmother ,
How much I envy Father in being able to stay with you in Borchen so long! I only hope that the prolongation of his trip will not deprive us of the joy of seeing you this fall. I would like to beg you, dear Grandmother, to please put in a good word for us with Father. True, it is hardly becoming for someone
who has just come back from Paris and now has the joy of being with Bertha to be thinking about another trip. But human nature is weak. Even in fortune's lap we find it hard to renounce pleasure, and so you will have to excuse me too.

I was happy to learn from Father's letter that you are well, but I wasn't really surprised, for I am used to hearing from those who see you at brief intervals that you always remain the same; so I would be astonished to hear otherwise. That is a good sign, dear Grandmother, a sign that we shall have the happiness of having you with us for a long time to come.7

     Frau von Mallinckrodt devoted a great deal of time to the training of her children. She was particularly proud of Pauline, her eldest. On one occasion she declared:
So far as her way of thinking and her temperament are concerned, nothing purer or nobler can be wished for. Without letting her know it, both of us gratefully recognize the treasure heaven has given us in her .8

     On another occasion she wrote to her mother in Borchen:
Pauline is big and healthy; her behavior, too, is excellent in every respect,
and so far as her temperament and character are concerned, there is nothing
more to be desired. I have reason to be proud of her .My deepest gratitude to
God for this.
9

     Frau von Mallinckrodt's sincerity, goodness, and constant friendliness as well as her deep faith were imprinted on all her children; in a special way, however, we find these character traits in Pauline.

     The mother, herself devoted to the care of the poor and the sick, did not surmise that Pauline was imbibing this same love of selfless service at a very early age. One little incident, related to a Sister years later by a schoolmate of young Pauline, will clarify this statement.

     Pauline had not been attending school very long. Every morning she looked forward to her classes and to all the interesting new things she would be learning. And so the teacher could not understand why Pauline was tardy so often. Since the child, otherwise so candid, never gave the reason, the teacher herself investigated and found all kinds of pieces of glass in her schoolbag. In answer to her astonished, inquiring glance, seven-year-old Pauline explained: "I found them on the street. I didn't want poor children who have no shoes to hurt themselves." 10

     One of Frau von Mallinckrodt's greatest concerns was to bring up her children in the Catholic faith. Out of deference to the father's Protestant affiliation, she accomplished this with tactful reserve. Pauline was very responsive to matters of faith and manifested a deep love for prayer at an early age.

     One Good Friday Pauline wanted to make the Way of the Cross, with which the pupils were familiar, in the garden of St. Leonard School. But her mother wanted her to stay at home on this special holy day of her Protestant father. Pauline complied, but devised a new plan, for she knew the pictures of the stations at St. Leonard's by heart. After looking for Pauline for some time, her mother found her climbing the attic stairs on her knees. Her mother looked at her questioningly. "I'm praying the
stations," her ten-year-old daughter whispered. The mother was taken aback. She had a presentiment that God would play an important role in Pauline's life.
11

Encounter with Luise Hensel

     The religious training Pauline had received from her mother was decisively deepened by her contact with Luise Hensel. Although Luise taught Pauline only a few years, the two remained on intimate terms all her life. In a letter to Luise, twenty-three year old Pauline reveals how much she owes to her teacher of long ago:
I owe you an immense debt of gratitude. You laid the foundation of my contentment, of my happiness; for peace, rest, and joy are to be found in God alone. And it was you who led me to this fountainhead of all temporal and eternal salvation. You would deserve heaven on my account alone. 12

     Pauline loved her teacher. Some time before this, she had told her:
Do you remember how we used to go up the stairs with you after class at St . Leonard's and how we would pluck your sleeve or at least ask to carry your books? At the door of your room most of the girls would say good-bye, but a few of us -for instance, Pauline von Mallinckrodt - would go into your cell, and then the questions would begin. When I pass your room now, I feel a bit homesick. If only I could still talk to you once in a while! Now I would get much more out of it than I did then. - But this much is certain: if we should not see each other again in this world and should meet later on in heaven, then you will see that I owe many a jewel in my crown to you.13

     Pauline's wealth of ideas and her open-mindedness as well as her joy in things religious are very definitely expressed in her compositions. Pauline chose to write most of them in letter or dialogue form. Here is just one example:
Dear Clara,
You cannot imagine how happy I was to receive your letter, especially since I had not heard from you for two months, and I didn't even know how you were getting along .  You tell me that you are often impatient, and you ask me for a means of overcoming this ugly fault. It may comfort you to know that I, too, suffered much from this fault, but the grace of God helped me, and also this story; it isn't a long one, but it has a lot of meaning.  I heard it from an old monk, and the title is:

Truttberg the Hermit

This is how it goes:
In a certain monastery a man named Truttberg lived under the authority of a
pious abbot. Truttberg was constantly at odds with his fellow monks, and he would often complain about them to the abbot, even when they were innocent. Once when he had again quarreled with them, he went to the abbot and asked for permission to leave the monastery and go to live alone in the woods. The abbot gave him permission, blessed him, and added: "If you can't quarrel with your brothers, you'll do so with the stones. " Truttberg went away and found a cave, where he lived happily for several days. One day he went to get water a little earlier than usual, but he set the jug down carelessly and it fell over. He felt like getting impatient, cursing, finding fault with the jug, kicking it, and so on, but he controlled himself and got more water; the same thing happened. Again he went to get water , but when he had climbed the hill he was tired and wanted to rest; so he set the jug on a rock, but did it so violently that the jug broke into many pieces. Truttberg could contain himself no longer. He cursed, kicked the jug - in a word, he was beside himself with rage. Soon, however, he returned to his senses, repented of his fault, and from that time on he led a better life.  I think this story can be very helpful to you. Remember me to your parents and your brothers and sisters, please. - Now I would still like to go to church for a while and so I'll close. I do hope you 'llget over your impatience, and I remain
Your faithful friend,
Pauline
May 23, 1829 

The style of this composition is good.
If only I could praise the penmanship!!
Luise Hensel
14

     Luise Hensel used such compositions to form and stabilize Pauline's  character. Her comments reveal fine insight into human nature as well as pedagogical skill:

Your choice and handling of the theme are good. Too bad your poor handwriting has made it impossible for me to correct your composition.
Satisfactory; but. ..if only Pauline could finally learn penmanship! 
Satisfied with your effort, though your work is not altogether successful. Just keep on trying .
The idea of your composition is rather good; if only your spelling and penmanship were better!
  You really are crazy about letter-writing!15

     And crazy about letter-writing she remained: about 3,540 of her letters are still in existence today. Pauline considered letter-writing one of the most effective means of making others happy, giving them advice, consoling them, or simply telling them about her experiences so that others might share them. At the same time, she was not concerned about a well-written letter, but rather about its sincerity and the love she wished to show to others. Nor did she look at the handwriting of others:
So far as I am concerned, you need never excuse your penmanship or feel
embarrassed about it. I look only at the heart that is speaking through the
letter, at nothing else. And so I don't organize my thoughts either when I
write to you.
16

     Luise Hensel's influence on Pauline was a lasting one. Pauline's early maturity , which manifested itself in her clear thinking and judgment, her resolute will, her cheerfulness and serenity , her kindliness and profound union with God, drew many people to her when they came in contact with her in her youth. If we contemplate her portrait as a young girl (the only one that has been preserved from that period) we find that it confirms what many people felt after their first meeting with her, and what Professor Schluter's sister described to her blind brother:
Her face cannot really be called beautiful, but it creates a highly favorable
impression. Her eyes express friendliness, cheerfulness, a childlike spirit, as
well as boundless good will.
17

      In Pauline, friendliness and gravity blended with each other and characterized her very being more and more. People used to say, "You would recognize her immediately in a large group even if you had never seen her before." She would gladly join in any kind of fun, but if someone's reputation were at stake, she would do her utmost to protect that person. "Pauline is no killjoy ," one of her classmates said when the whole class took a stand against a certain teacher, and Pauline would not join them. "C'est la Mallinckrodt!" - "That's the Mallinckrodt girl! That's the way she is," the directress of the school declared.18

Death of Her Mother

     When Pauline was seventeen, her mother became seriously ill. She herself realized that she would die soon; the family, however, tried everything to preserve the mother's life. The doctor recommended treatment at some mineral baths, and Pauline accompanied her mother to Bad Schwalbach, a newly discovered spa, where conditions were still poor and in no way met the requirements of a health resort, especially not for a seriously ill person. With anxious care Pauline kept watch at her mother's side day and night, nursing her tenderly. Her mother, however, used the time that still remained to her for delegating to Pauline the responsibilities of homemaker and mother:
Keep God before your eyes! Always be united with each other! You will always live on in my love. Take good care of your brothers and sister and of your father. Always try to make him happy! 19

     Pauline fought against her tears, but her mother's courage and fortitude strengthened her too. Fully conscious, her mother said her yes to the will of God, and Pauline realized that what was happening here was no separation, no parting; in God her mother would always remain close to them. It was Pauline's first direct experience of death; after that, death had lost all its terrors for her. "The loss of my mother," Pauline wrote after the death of her mother, "awakened in me an intense desire for heaven, whither she had gone. 20 Pauline was to cherish that desire until her own death.

Serving the Poor and the Sick in Aix-la-Chapelle

     From this time on Pauline, despite her youth, held the position of mother in the family. She presided in the district president's residence, with its manifold domestic and social obligations. Above all, she endeavored to comply with her dying mother's wish by devoting herself lovingly to her two teenage brothers and her eight-year-old sister and by providing them with good training. She tried to fulfill her father's every wish, was his devoted companion on his trips and walks, and accompanied him to social functions. Though she sometimes felt overtaxed, she was always intent on fulfilling the desires of those around her. In her selflessness, her heart had room for others. In spite of all the demands made on her, she still found time to help poor and sick persons. With her friend Anna von Lommessen and several young women from well-to-do families, she called on needy people and supported them with the means at her disposal. In the household account book her father often found records of rather large expenditures for the poor. Even as a thirteen year old girl Pauline would give her allowance to poor and sick people. So, for example, she once gave a monthly account of what she had done with her money:
Gave 1 taler to church, 2 talers to a poor child that had no dress, 3 talers to a
sick widow who had nothing to eat!
21

     Pauline's personal expenditures were always limited to a few pfennigs hardly worth mentioning. And when her father would urge her to get something for herself, her only answer was, "But I have everything!"  The people of Aix-la-Chapelle were amazed to see young girls of wealthy families dedicating themselves so zealously to the service of the poor and the sick. "Those young women are crazy," they commented. Very soon, however, when they saw the results of such unselfish service, they changed their tune. Now they were only "the holy young ladies."

     Pauline's father placed no hindrance in the way of her charitable work; he was concerned, however, about her constantly diminishing pleasure in social functions, and he hoped to reawaken her taste for society by means of an extended trip through Belgium and France. Pauline did indeed drink in all the pleasures of such a trip, but at the same time she made use of it to gain an insight into organizations for the poor and the
handicapped. Her desire to help the underprivileged became stronger and stronger .

     During this period of struggle with the problem of her vocation in life, Pauline was confirmed. A few days later she reached a firm decision that had hitherto seemed impossible to her: she broke her friendly relations with a young man who often stayed at the family home and to whom, as she herself declared, she was devoted "with her whole soul, with all her youthful ardor ." Later on, she described the experience as follows:
A new life dawned for me. With peace in my heart, I kept up my lively interest in affairs around me. Unconcerned about myself, I could the better devote myself to others, and it was my joy to lavish my love and attention on the poor, the members of Christ. An intense longing to become a Sister of Mercy welled up in my soul.
22

This longing of eighteen-year-old Pauline to dedicate her life wholly to the poor never left her. But the road to that goal was still a long one.

The Move to Boeddeken

In 1839 Pauline's father retired from office. This meant saying good-bye to Aix-Ia-Chapelle, for her father wanted to spend the last years of his life in Boeddeken, his estate in the vicinity of Paderborn. Pauline made the journey alone with her father; her two brothers were studying at the university, and Bertha, her younger sister, was to remain in Aix-la-Chapelle at a boarding school. For Pauline the change from Aix-la-Chapelle to remote Boeddeken meant a complete reorientation of her life. She had to leave her familiar surroundings, part from her friends, and above all, be separated from her beloved poor and sick people. Writing about her first year in Boeddeken, she declared:
L
ife here at Boeddeken is not to my liking. The estate is an out-of-the-way
place, a former monastery, about a half-hour's walk from the church. Since
we have a great deal of company here, I am very little recollected, and must
spend the time I would otherwise devote to prayer , spiritual reading, and my
beloved poor, in useless conversation. Granted that everything done out of
pure love is service of God, but I am such a poor creature that I am worlds
away from such perfection. I'm glad to be in Boeddeken only inasmuch as we
are glad to be where God places US.
23

But here, too, her untiring zeal and keen observation soon discovered new possibilities of serving the poor and the sick of the area. Her father did not object to her going to church every morning for Mass. Frequently her walk home took a long time, for her observant eye and sympathetic heart soon found out where help was needed. Pauline was grateful to her father for leaving her free in her works of charity even if he did not approve of her desire to become a religious. Pauline simply waited, praying that God would make His will known to her .

Activity in Paderborn

During the winter months, when Pauline and her father lived in Paderborn, she could pursue her charitable works more easily. Here she came in contact with much of the misery resulting from increasing industrialization. There was no such thing as government support for the unemployed or the sick. Children were most cruelly affected. They were forced to either work or run the streets in utter neglect. Pauline was shocked at the sight of such wretchedness. During her very first winter in Paderborn she tried to help where she could. She founded a "Society for the Care of the Sick in Their Homes," and to it she joined the "Society of Volunteers for Night Nursing." She persuaded well-to-do families to prepare meals for poor families. She did not shrink from the hardest and most menial work. During the first six months she herself took over more than a hundred night watches -and these in addition to her already numerous duties. After a night of watching, she often returned home depressed, bringing with her the concerns of a sick mother for her little children. Older children were taken care of during School hours, but younger ones were completely on their own.

In 1840, therefore, she founded and herself directed a day nursery for little children. She began with eight children, but within a few weeks the number had increased to such an extent that she was forced to look around for larger quarters. A year later she wrote to Luise Hensel:
Our school for the poor here in Paderborn cannot compare with the one in Aix-la-Chapelle; besides, it is only a day nursery for poor, neglected children between the ages of two and six. Meanwhile, God has helped and blessed us so visibly in this project that I would consider it wrong not to provide for its continued existence. A little more than a year ago, we began with nothing; now we have about eighty little pupils, all of whom receive meals -i.e., at noon and in the afternoon -in the institution. Their health is improving, and even if they don't know much about God, the Lord loves them anyway. We dismiss the girls at the age of six, but they comeback for needlework lessons after school, at about four 0' clock. In that way we can keep an eye on them and do many a favor for them later on.24

The organization and support of the day nursery involved great difficulties, especially financial ones. Pauline herself defrayed most of the expenses for food, but she was also very inventive in tapping other sources of help for her welfare work. So, for example, she succeeded in having the proceeds from concerts and plays donated for the poor children. Above all, however, it was her personal commitment that overcame all difficulties. At Christmastime, (or example, she would be sewing far into the night in order to have gifts for the children and to let them experience a little joy in their poverty-stricken lives.

Beginning of the Work for the Blind

But the scope of Pauline's mission to the poor had by no means reached its limits. She became aware of the need of undertaking a further task: the care of blind children. At first there were two; shortly after, there were five, among them the Margretchen mentioned in the introduction. Relieved of the responsibility of caring for her father, who had died on Apri14, 1842, Pauline dedicated herself wholeheartedly to this work. Day and night she was with the blind. She not only took care of them but also tried to educate them. She herself learned the tactile writing then in use for the blind, and made a relief chart for geography in padded embroidery .She was very fond of the blind children, devoting herself particularly to the poorest and most handicapped ones, as the example of Margaretha Feichtler shows. Nor did it take the children long to be aware of the fact that here was someone who loved them, who wanted to make them happy, who brought light into their lives. People could often be heard saying that they had never seen happier children than those in the school for the blind. On Sundays and holy days Pauline would take them for an outing in the country round about. One summer evening the children came home singing happily, as always. Running up to a teacher who had stayed at home, a blind child threw its arms about her and cried out: "Oh, if only you were a blind child, so that you could have enjoyed yourself with us!" The teacher understood. How could it be otherwise when Pauline was with the children?

Pauline found her fulfillment in her works of charity .But her desire to carry on this ministry as a religious grew stronger and stronger. In that case, however, what would become of the blind children? So she looked about for a congregation that would be willing to undertake this work. When she finally found a French congregation, the Prussian government refused to grant the congregation entry into Germany. Other congregations that Pauline consulted were unable to take over the project because of a lack of personnel. Pauline waited and prayed: "My only desire is that God's will be fulfilled in me." 25

The Founding of the Congregation

At this time matters came to an unexpected turning point. Pauline took her difficulties to the auxiliary bishop of Cologne, a long-standing friend of the Mallinckrodt family. He had known Pauline from her childhood and had often counseled her during her adolescence. After considering the matter for a few days, he gave her the answer that was to determine her life and her work:
I have arrived at the conviction that it is God's will that you yourself remain with the work that God has until now blessed under your direction. ...But go hand in hand with the Church. When you return home, ask the bishop whether he will give his approval for the founding of a small religious congregation. ...God will prosper the undertaking. 26

Such a thought had never entered Pauline's mind. A number of years later she wrote:
This answer was totally unexpected; now that it had been made, however, and I had thought about it, I was ready to act upon it, and in the depths of my heart I felt that it was the right thing, that it was good and pleasing to God. I firmly resolved to follow it and felt that by God's grace I had the strength to go through with the matter despite all obstacles that I might encounter. -Now that I look back over my life, I cannot admire God's wonderful providence enough. God had wanted this decision from me. He had guided me toward it along paths that I should never have surmised would lead me to it. And all these ways in which, with an upright heart toward God, I had been seeking something entirely different from the goal He had in mind, served, according to the designs of His wise, fatherly providence, to qualify me for carrying out what He wanted of me. Man proposes; God disposes!
27

During the ensuing weeks Pauline devoted much thought to the bishop's advice, especially during prayer. Three of her closest associates felt called to walk this way with her .

Many things had to be considered and decided upon. Finally, everything was ready. On August 21, 1849, Pauline and her three companions received the religious habit in the Busdorf Church, Paderborn, in the presence of many people. Bishop Franz Drepper, who personally celebrated the solemn Mass and presided at the ceremony, appointed Pauline superior of the little congregation. Now her official title was "Reverend Mother"; but all those to whom she had always been devoted in motherly love, simply called her "Mother Pauline" from now on. The blind shared the joy of this day in a special way. For the congratulations they sang new songs, and they carefully examined the Sisters' new clothing with their fingers. Their hearts were full of joy and gratitude, for they knew that, as Sisters, those who were taking care of them were there entirely for them.

The first four Sisters of Christian Charity -this was the name of the little congregation- spent the rest of their festive day in quiet seclusion.  Recalling this momentous day in later years, Mother Pauline wrote:
O blessed day- the goal of so many lo~ years of desire! A nezv life began: a
life in the Church and for the Church !